Here There Be Dragons

The Secret to Surving Academia

2009-12-02T17:47:51Z

catenate linked to this article over at Facebook, and I wanted to point some things out about why the article makes a number of good points while being completely wrong about everything.

What the article missing is some base-level postulates. If you stipulate that you are living in order to do as many things that you find valuable as you can, everything becomes much clearer. You can conclude that the path to your own valuable things is in creating valuable things for other people, and that's an achievable course of action.

This is why, about four and a half semesters into my higher education, I abruptly decided that I needed more math, science, and engineering in my life.

All the humanities do for me is give me existential crises and complicate my world. All I need to know is that I should treat every human being as a person just as I am a person and that I shouldn't be a douchebag. If I'm spending all my free time worrying about how powerful, rich, heterosexual white males subjugate everyone who isn't a powerful, rich, heterosexual white male, I'm (a) not happy and (b) not fixing the problem.

Iin other words, the trick is to learn how to be happy while fixing copiers.

I sent the author an e-mail. It probably wasn't helpful, but I can hope.

Hi,

My name is [my name], and I'm an Engineering and Management major at [my university]. This is my third college and my seventh semester in academia, and after an abrupt major change around the fifth semester, hopefully I'll graduate after another four semesters or so. I have been frustrated with academia since I was in roughly seventh grade, and I've spent a lot of time coming to terms with it.

One of my friends posted a link to your article on Facebook, and it makes a lot of really good points about many of the frustrations I have with academia, but I wanted to offer you a business-and-engineering perspective on the things you write about.

You pose some questions: "How do they live? How do they eat breakfast? How do they put on a pair of pants? How do they write Bi-Co articles?"

I'd like to think that I can offer some insight and maybe even a strategy for dealing with life, including breakfast, pants, and copier-fixing. (I'm afraid that you're on your own for the Bi-Co articles.)

What you're missing is some base-level postulates about life.

Academia spends a lot of time teaching you about other people's ideas. It teaches you who came up with which the ideas and how the ideas relate to one another through different perspectives. The theory runs that, after four years of cramming ideas into your head at a liberal-arts institution, you will emerge with a conversation-level knowledge of a lot of different things, the ability to think logically, a head full of shiny new independent thoughts, and the ability to communicate same. To my understanding, the societal goal is that, after your liberal arts education, you'll go on to be an informed citizen capable of making decisions that will positively impact society. (The debate about whether liberal arts institutions achieve this goal is a completely separate issue and beyond the scope of this e-mail.)

Professors will never tell you any of this. Some of this is probably tucked away in your school's mission statement, which, if it is posted online at all, will be hidden at least three clicks away from the homepage. It will be disguised with phrases like "commitment to excellence", "rich curriculum", and "personal and intellectual growth". (You can find Haverford's at the following URL: http://www.haverford.edu/catalog/purpose.php )

So, in between learning and citing everyone else's ideas, the secret is that you're allowed to come up with your own ideas and draw your own conclusions. You don't have to believe everything that you read or that you learn in class. If something is bothering you, you are allowed to say to yourself (if not to your professor): "Wait a minute. That is wrong. It may follow logically from its base postulates, but the base postulates do not reflect the world that I live in."

The next step is to then write your own set of postulates, ones that are consistent with the world that you live in. For example, if you stipulate that you are living in order to do as many things that you find valuable as you can, everything becomes much clearer. You can conclude that the path to your own valuable things is in creating valuable things for other people, and that's an achievable course of action.

That's my base postulate, and it may not reflect your world. What you need to do is think about what you've been taught and come up with something that you can live with: something that will get you up in the morning and see you through pants, breakfast, and broken copiers. You speak of a conflict between intellectual stimulation and mundane life, and I do not believe that such a conflict needs to exist. It's up to you to balance or merge or link mundane life and thought in a way that you can exist.

Of course, there are arguments that refute my thought process here (we're in academia. There are always arguments, except perhaps to the statement "if you do not pay for your bill, you will not be coming back to this university and we will not give you a diploma"), but I hope this will help you sort things out a little bit.

Good luck in both the balance of your academic career and in the "real world", whatever that may be for you.

-[my name]

And now back to work on the project that's due in just over three hours. You know, the one that's worth 15% of my grade, the one of which have so far completed roughly 40%.

Gah, Clarkson

2009-11-18T03:04:34Z

So, a while back (right in the middle of midterms, if you were wondering), Clarkson "resolved" my ongoing roommate conflict by moving me "temporarily" to a handicapped single in the middle of a floor of freshman boys in the dorm furthest away from my upper-class peers. As it turns out, by "resolved", they meant "we will do nothing whatsoever to help you" and by "temporarily", they meant "for the second half of the semester".

Well, okay, I thought at the time. It is an improvement, and it appears that no one is going to to anything else to ameliorate the situation, and they'll find me a real place for next semester.

So, once I got out of the wave of three tests that characterized last week, I followed up with Residence Life. It went a little bit like this:

ME: "So, Res Life, when are you moving me out of temporary housing?"
RES LIFE: "You should look off-campus."

In the meantime, I'm stuck in this room, and while it is more livable than an environment with three openly hostile ass-bitches...

*There is no kitchen, which makes eating perennially interesting.

*I have a private bathroom. That means I have to CLEAN the private bathroom and buy it toilet paper. This wouldn't be such a problem, except...

*The shower of the private bathroom is an extremely poorly engineered bathroom for handicapped people. The shower empties out all over the flat bathroom floor. This is apparently supposed to be a feature. Instead, it makes the entire bathroom extremely gross.

*The door of the private bathroom is, very literally, rotting (see also: water all over the bathroom floor, above).

*Judging by the size of the hair balls I cleaned out of the drains, no one had cleaned them since time immemorial.

*The exhaust for the building's gas heater vents right outside my window. Apparently, this is the source of the smell (like someone has left the stove on even though the pilot light went out) in my room when I leave the door closed for an extended period of time (around 20 hours or so).

*There is no room in this room, and you cannot rearrange it because there is only one wall long enough to hold the bed.

Generic Dating Advice for Everyone

2009-11-05T03:42:51Z

Because people keep asking me.

1.) Be a healthy weight. You don't need to be buff, but you do need to be able to move fluently.

2.) Practice good personal hygiene. I have sympathy for your acne problem, but if over-the-counter scrubs aren't doing it, go see your doctor.

3.) Don't be a creeper. When it's clear that things aren't going to work out, stop trying.

4.) Have interests of your own. If you're consumed by your search for a significant other, it shows, and it's not attractive.

5.) Smile and have fun! You might not have your dream date, but life is still pretty damn good.

Am I right?

End-of-the-Semester Crunch

2009-11-04T14:22:51Z

Well, I made it almost 70% of the way through the semester without getting hella behind in any of my classes. It's an improvement! And once again, the problem class is Physics. I'm doing fine on the tests somehow, but homework is increasingly difficult and just flat-out long-- and the worst part is that I can't really complain because there is no substitute for doing Physics problems in terms of actually gaining a deep and intuitive understanding of the material. (I can and will complain about the online component of the homework, though. Seriously, what the FUCK, I paid $80 for some shit thing that's hard to use and doesn't get me partial credit. This is my angry face.)

Introduction to Enterprise Resource Planning Systems is a joke class, and the joke is no longer funny now that it's taking some of my time if I want to pass the tests. At least 35% of the points are total gimme points: if you show up and do the labs, you'll ace them. It's not even homework: you just show up during the scheduled block and you can pretty much finish it-- that is, IF Clarkson's network is up. (Come on, Clarkson. Fix your network; you have a ridiculous amount of downtime for a tech school where students rely heavily on technology for coursework.)

Project Management is still fun, but it's also turning into work! I haven't been working on the major project that's due at the end of the year because I've been juggling Physics, and there's one assignment due this afternoon and

I feel like there's something I'm missing in Diff EQ because it's so incredibly easy, but I can't find it anywhere. (Seriously, who came up with this subject? You just fit the equation to the form for any analytic solution. I guess it's a good refresher of Calc I & II before Calc III?) There's a test tonight, though, and AAAAAHHHHGGGG I am nervous even though it looks like positive SIMPLESAUCE. However, if I bomb it, I can just retake it during the final slot. My first two test grades are good, so it shouldn't be a huge deal.

Finance is easy and the workload is pretty much constant. Thank god there's at least one.

I register today at 12:30. Next semester looks something like this:

Calc III
Chem II
Statics
Marketing
Operations and Supply Chain Management

That's in order. The first three are MWF, the latter two are just MW. There are labs and recitations on TuTh.

In short, ouch, but hopefully next semester there will be less of a peak on Wednesdays where EVERYTHING IS DUE AT 5:00 AND THERE IS A TEST AN HOUR LATER.

This post was brought to you by Wednesdays. I'm completely overloaded with work, so clearly I am not working on ANY of it.

Oh, Business Majors

2009-09-30T20:50:01Z

According to the manual that goes with my financial calculator: "Few people ever get to work with money amounts that exceed 9,999,999,999.00, but, if you are one of those people whose assets exceed ten billion, you may be interested in how the EL-733A handles large numbers like these."

Or you can buy a better calculator.

Always look on the bright side of a business major: there may always be unintentional hilarity in unexpected places.

On the flip side, there are also simplified explanations of (for example) the difference between Newtons and pounds of force.

Just remember: Y2K was a major impetus for companies to update their technology resources. I learned that at college.

In Which Clarkson Deals Poorly With Housing Situations

2009-09-22T23:30:22Z

My roommate situation is still slightly ridiculous. I'm trying to work with an RA to make things work, but...

ROOMMATES: "You wake all three of us up when you come in at 2AM! We have ROTC scholarships!"
ME: "I have academic scholarships. I need to study."
ROOMMATES: "Well stop waking us up! You can sleep on the couch!"

Dear Roommates:

Not bloody likely. I pay $3400 a semester for this bed. I am going to sleep in it.

Love,
Me

Apparently, it is a common Clarkson exploit to be a total douchefuck to your roommates until they leave you with a single. I blame in part whatever genius came up with the idea of having an apartment with three single-sized rooms (with only one ethernet port per bedroom! what the fuck) house four students, and in part whatever administrative agency doesn't have adequate controls to keep roommates from fucking with you.

Because, even if my housing situation is extremely uncomfortable, it's better than my friend's situation.

It's time to start figuring out how to get the fuck off-campus, I think, because this is beyond ridiculous.

*A List Of Things I Have Accomplished So Far This Semester (to be updated)
-Resumé updated and posted online
-Went to the career fair
-Set up ongoing support services to see me through the semester
-Physics HW x3
-Physics lab x1
-Diff EQ HW x3
-Project Management HW x1.5
-Finance HW x3
-Intro to Enterprise Resource Systems Test: 83% raw, 93% after the curve.
-Diff EQ test, 83%
-Physics I exam, 57.5/60-96%! (class average, 33/60)

Food, Math, and the Semester So Far

2009-09-04T21:03:49Z

*Considering a math minor. I have thoughts in my head, and I need a better vocabulary in order to describe them! Sub-areas if I start considering this more seriously:
-Talk to Diff EQ prof to try to quantify what classes I'd ideally like to take.
-Talk to advisor.
-Will this completely screw up my graduation timeline?

*Thinking about food is weird, given my vegetarian bias. I need to try more things and be less picky! Who has thoughts about what a "meal" should be? What do you like to eat?

*Roommate situation remains weird. They're polite(ish), but chilly. I can sort of understand why they're put out that I'm there (our room is tiny! and I am not one of their social group!), but there is no call to be talking shit at 7:15AM about how I shut down my computer and the lights as soon as my RM went to bed, and then took an additional half an hour to get ready for bed (brush teeth, change, etc.). I walked around, folks, and then I had the audacity to blow my nose while I was in bed. So you're ROTC and have to wake up at 5:15AM? Well, I'm not, and you snooze six times when I'm trying to sleep. Sorry it sucks, but now it's time to cope.

*A List Of Things I Have Accomplished So Far This Semester (to be updated)
-Resumé updated and posted online
-Set up ongoing support services to see me through the semester
-Physics HW x1
-Diff EQ HW x1
-Project Management HW x1
-Finance HW x1

Things Have Ameliorated Themselves... Somewhat

2009-08-13T22:12:50Z

*I received my new credit card in the mail to-day, just in time for me to go out of town this weekend.

*I will be able to buy a new cell phone on a monthly basis soon.

*I called the Health Center, and they will help me get my amphetamines for the coming year. Also my birth control. It is all very important.

*Work has not been sending me home because none of the children have been absent. This is a mixed blessing, but at least I am getting paid.

* I now have five classes on my schedule, but none of them are in math, science, or engineering. When I get to Clarkson, heads may roll if folks persist in preventing me from taking [Diff EQ or Calc III] and [Chem II or Physics I]. I'm pretty sure that's what I have to take in order to avoid fucking up my sequences, and I'm pretty sure I can get a seat in at least ONE of them. It's probably a snafu with them putting me in the wrong major (interpreting the Common App to mean "management major with an engineering minor" instead of "management and engineering, the interdisciplinary major"). This is why God invented add/drops; I'm no longer particularly concerned.

New CLOTHES!

2009-08-05T12:20:20Z

Yesterday, evocatory, ryoko_dono, and I went shopping for clothes because I was in dire need of pants. tim122887 tagged along because he was apparently in need of the photo store.

AND I FOUND PANTS. Two pairs, even, jeans and a pair of green pants (about which I am disproportionately excited.) Then, ryoko_dono and tim122887 lectured me about fashion, because ryoko_dono is a fashion major and tim122887 goes to FIT. So, I got some leggings and two camis and a sweater of a color that I might not have selected on my own, but that I still like, and hopefully the results will help me keep warm when I go away to college in the barren wastelands of icy New York.

AND I GOT NEW BRAS. THAT FIT. AND SUPPORT MY BOOBS. ZOMG YES.

And then we came home and frosted a cake (pic courtesy of evocatory, who has an iPhone. Thank you, lovely). And then the cake was delicious. The end.

Summer is Winding Down

2009-08-03T04:11:31Z

I'm a little bit melancholy about it. Here's the rundown of what's left:

Aug 2: I was going to go to the beach, and then the forecast was all "THUNDERSTORMS".
Aug 3-6: Work at ECEC.
Aug 7: Work at ECEC. Work at Target.
Aug 8: ???
Aug 9: Family picnic; traveling all day.
Aug 10-14: Work at ECEC.
Aug 15-19: Hopefully traveling to see some out-of-town friends.
Aug 20: Move to Potsdam, NY.
Aug 20-22: Orientation
Aug 23: Classes start.

A Few Things

2009-07-30T12:26:58Z

I worked out what classes I'll likely have to take at Clarkson, and they all sound pretty exciting! Electrical Science! Intro to digital design! Thermodynamics! Differential Equations! Operations & Supply Chain! Calc III! Fluid Mechanics! Risk Management! However, now that I see the classes all laid out in a row and the possibility of paying four-semesters-plus-a-summer of Clarkson tuition instead of five semesters presents itself, I'm honestly a bit apprehensive about taking some of them abroad.

The other day I was driving to a doctor's appointment, and I saw a most compelling argument to speed posted on one of those board thingies outside an elementary school. It read:

"Leave Earlier
Drive Slower
Live Longer"

To my ear, that particular phrasing reads as "Spend more time now, when you are young and healthy, sitting in a car, so that you can have more years when you are old and wrinkly and possibly less mobile than you are now."

Dear Board Thingy:

Riiiiiiight.

Love, me.

I'm not even convinced that driving-slower = safer.

The Extremely Simple Guide to How I Deal With Money

2009-07-13T21:52:34Z

I talk about how much academia annoys me more often than I probably should. While having this kind of discussion a few days ago with a friend, she told me that though she has graduated from college, she has no idea what to do with money in the real world or how to balance her checkbook.

I'm kind of a nut about knowing what to do with money. In fact, I wish I had some money with which I could know about doing things, and possibly I might even do them.

So, here's how I deal with the money I do have:

Balancing My Checkbook
GOAL: To make sure that the bank is only charging you for transactions you authorize.

HOW I DO IT: Essentially: I don't. I keep a running tally in my head of what I've spent (rounded up), and I deduct that from the balance in my bank account. Instead of balancing a checkbook, I check my bank statement online around once a week in order to make sure that transactions are posting and processing correctly against my receipts.

SOME SUGGESTIONS: Balancing a checkbook is, in my opinion, a pen-and-paper skill in a digital age. You're checking for errors, but if you monitor your account regularly (and in my opinion, you absolutely should be monitoring your account regularly from a secure and private computer on a trusted network in order to catch anomalies early), you're taking care of 95% of the goal at 5% of the hassle. Your bank's software is almost certainly more accurate than your calculator, and with online banking that can show you transaction detail, there's no need to do the addition yourself unless you're really paranoid.

Budgeting
GOAL: To spend less money than you earn and to accrue net worth over time.

HOW I DO IT: I know what my approximate monthly expenses are, and I know about how much money I can expect to make over the near future. (I also know that I'm going away to school and it will cost $1000 to buy textbooks). So, I worked out how much money I'll have left over after that, and allocated a percentage of that to save. After that percentage, I arrived at the amount of money I can spend, and I try to spend less than that number.

SOME SUGGESTIONS: Remember that everything you buy now is something you won't be able to buy tomorrow, and keep track of the money you're spending. Only spend money that you have.

Which brings me to...

Credit Cards
GOAL: To prove to lenders that you pay back money you borrow so that someday when you want to buy a house or other big thing that actually needs financing, you can get a loan.

HOW I DO IT: I pretend that it's the same thing as cash. When something goes on the credit card, I consider the money already spent, and I never spend any money that isn't currently in my bank account waiting for me to go home and transfer it to my credit card.

SOME SUGGESTIONS: Don't spend money you don't have. Don't spend money you haven't already earned. Don't spend money that you haven't received yet.

That's really most of it, but with those go some other things. Don't carry a balance from billing period to billing period, because then they charge you interest. Remember that credit cards are not free money. If you aren't good at keeping a tally of how much money you're spending, then leave the card at home, only bring a limited amount of cash with you and only use that.

Personal Update: Labs and Clarkson

2009-07-12T17:09:22Z

1.) So I've pretty much settled on Clarkson. The money makes a difference, you know? Plus RPI still hasn't actually mailed me my financial aid package. D:

2.) Lab reports due the sixteenth. My plan goes like this:

a.) Finish lab reports.
b.) Turn them in tomorrow.
c.) Pass Physics II.
d.) Never ever ever ever ever have to take Physics II again.

It appears I'll still have to go back and take Physics I (fooooo), but I should be fine now that I've already struggled through magnetism. Screw you, surface integrals reducing to zero because magnetic monopoles haven't been found ever.

3.) Differential Equations. WANT.

4.) Options for study abroad and co-ops, woohoo! Also apparently Rosetta Stone courses offered through the college for brushing up on your languages.

5.) But unfortunately, it does look like three years, no matter what. Bright side: there should be time for study abroad and internship/co-ops! And also this means I can spend some semesters doing kickass extracurriculars (like learning how to use scary equipment that terrifies me but is the only way to build actual things) and taking only 12 credits (which is how I succeed best anyway).

The Mystery of the Extremely Quiet Speakers

2009-07-11T03:29:26Z

On the 24th of July, clyan_bunnies and I are going to venture forth on an expedition in order to slay dragons, rescue princesses, and do something about unicorns and virgins the details of which I will leave to your imaginations in order to keep the ratings down. The time-off request I submitted has met approval; the logistics have been duly planned.

In the spirit of this plan, I bought a $20 pair of speakers from Target so that clyan_bunnies and I might sing along to music from our .mp3 players. They look like this:

So we tried them out and discovered that they worked, but only if the switch was in the "off " position. Also, they were pretty quiet, but I figured, hey, $20 speakers from Target, what do you want?

Well, after some research online, I discovered some information that had I had not previously known. Apparently, there are two kinds of speakers: active speakers and passive speakers. Apparently, my little white $20 speakers from Target are of the former breed.

Upon investigating, I discovered a battery compartment, and upon opening it, discovered that it was empty.

I put batteries in the speakers, and lo! They were no longer Extremely Quiet Speakers, but had metamorphosed into beautiful butterflies of facilitating music on our quest.

The End

Maybe the World is Just Too Big

2009-07-08T20:13:21Z

1.) iTunes help writes: "When you import an item by dragging it to the iTunes window or choosing File > Add to Library, a reference (or "pointer") to the item—not the item itself—is placed in the iTunes folder."

Gee, thanks, iTunes. Explaining that a reference is called a "pointer" made all the difference.

That said, I happen to know what pointers are, and I could argue with myself about whether I think that was an appropriate way to handle it, but I'm not going to go there.

I think the point of all this is simply that I need a better system of file management so that I can find things and don't have to spend eight hours explaining to programs where they can find the files they need all the time.

2.) It takes too long to organize printing things at home, too much running back and forth, especially when I'm on a timetable and file transfers never go quite as planned.

3.) Logistics are also horrible. I'm heading up to visit Clarkson, four and a half hours away, and I'm-- pretty firmly not amused. I don't like driving. I find cars uncomfortable and boring. The thought of spending ten hours in a car when instead I could be doing something comfortable and/or fun makes my soul hurt.

Rules of the Internet

2009-07-02T16:57:12Z

No, this is not about Rule 34. Minds out of the gutter, folks.

No, these are rules about how the Internet works and what people should post on it, and whether or not it is okay to "stalk" someone on the internet.

They mostly go like this:

1.) The Internet is not private.
2.) The Internet is not private.
3.) The Internet is REALLY not private.
4.) In fact, the Internet is a PUBLIC forum.
5.) If you value privacy so freaking much then WHY DID YOU PUT THAT ON THE INTERNET?
6.) Also don't give out your username/password to ANYONE. Ever.

And as far as internet "stalking", goes, I don't believe in it.

Merriam-Webster backs me up on this. Their definition:
STALK. transitive verb. To pursue obsessively and to the point of harassment.

(If you're going to quibble with me about what harassment is, Merriam-Webster will back me up there, too.)

"But JP!", one might cry, "Looking up information about people online is creepy! Surely if they wanted you to know something, they would tell you themselves!"

Maybe some people feel that way. In that case, they should not post that information about themselves on the INTERNET.

So, I have composed some additional rules about how those people should interact with the internet.

If you're ashamed about your life and the things you do and the things you say and the things that you UPLOAD ON A PUBLIC FORUM,
1.) Don't upload them on a public forum
2.) In fact, don't do them in the first place.
3.) Why in the name of the gods would you do something you're ashamed of and post it on the INTERNET for the love of the gods?
4.) You do realize that your mom/your grandmother/the person you've just publicly badmouthed is INEVITABLY going to find/read/be upset or hurt by what you've posted, right?

"Well, what if my friend posts stuff about me that I don't want posted? Isn't that creepy stalking?"

Not if you're all using sensible content and respecting other people's privacy when you post stuff on the internet. I've got some rules for that, too.

1.) Don't post stuff using other people's full names on public areas of the internet, ever.
2.) If your friend respects you and you ask them, your friend should take stuff about you down.
3.) If your 'friend' posts defamatory stuff about you, then they're not your friend and there isn't much you can do about it, and also fuck them because they're assholes.
4.) On the bright side, odds are you're not that important. No one you don't know personally is going to find it, and anyone you know personally should realize that you didn't post [whatever].
5.) Also don't give out your username/password to ANYONE. Ever.

CONCLUSION.
Can be considered a short version for TL;DR folks.
Looking up stuff people put on the internet is NOT creepy and is NOT stalking because people put that information up themselves. I upload content because I want and expect people to read it, and I'm man enough to own up to my fuckups and apologize if I've posted content that hurts/offends people. There's privacy settings for a reason, and I'm not going to hack those. But if you post something publicly on the internet, it's fair game, and I'm not going to let you make me feel guilty because I read something that YOU posted publicly. You don't want me to find it? You lock that shit up, untag yourself, or take it down.

Savvy?

jpnadia @ 2009-06-28T17:59:00

2009-06-28T22:38:28Z

1.) Falling desperately in love with the entire world. It feels so good, like hope and optimism again. I spend too much time stressing out about stupid things.

2.) clyan_bunnies had her graduation party yesterday. So much fun! We swung on the swings and played some Frisbee and talked about physics and subterranean housing and colleges. I met someone from Clarkson and we talked about the school.

3.) Lab reports coming along sloowwwwlllyyyy. Gah. I can't wait to be finished.

4.) Beginning to lean toward Clarkson, because the money is better and the degree might be faster and the program seems closer to what I want to do. Starting salaries are comparable.

The Magical Mystery Tour

2009-06-28T19:42:00Z

From a couple of days ago:

Adam has pretty much every Beatles song ever on his Zune. Today, he connected it to his XBox 360 so that I could listen to beautiful music while I worked on lab reports and he killed zombies in Left 4 Dead.

Now, I have what probably amounts to an unhealthy amount of affection for the entire Magical Mystery Tour album, and not just because the vinyl comes with a cartoon explaining the "plot" of the related movie. (For reference, the movie, which has been available in part on YouTube, at least at some point in the past, is not nearly as good as either the album or the cartoon.) So, I put on the album and curled up on the couch to listen to it. The following dialogue ensued:

ADAM: You know, you can play Fallout 3 while listening to music on the 360.

He gave me a complicated list of instructions that I did not follow and will not transcribe.

ME: Adam, you do realize that Fallout 3 is pretty much the exact opposite of this album.
ADAM: ... True. I just wanted you to know that you didn't have to sit there watching the trippy visualizations.
ME: Yes, but Adam, you see, the trippy visualizations are not the opposite of this album.

Ooooh... kay. Colleges.

2009-06-23T20:55:03Z

UPDATES ON THINGS:

1.) I got into Clarkson! I got a phone call yesterday and a letter today. Credit evaluation and financial aid awards are pending.

2.) RPI still hasn't gotten back to me about financial aid, and I'm still a mess regarding the credit evaluation (having yet to post the course descriptions). They said they had already sent it out "on Friday" when pressed; the Friday in question being June 12.

3.) Even with the rough figures I was given over the 'phone (and therefore do not even remotely trust), my mother is freaking out about the cost of RPI because they give their room and board costs at $12,000 (in addition to $40K in tuition). I have to say that it's a reasonable freakout, but even so, if one were to live off-campus, it would certainly be less expensive.

4.) Sent out thank-you note to Watervliet Arsenal. Still haven't heard from them, either, but I hear that the wheels of government bureaucracy turn slowly, so I'm still (very tentatively) hopeful.

5.) I'm also mildly concerned about money for just textbooks/cell phone/meds, because the jobs I have are part time and won't cover it. On the other hand, though, I do have money in the bank, so it's not a huge stress factor. Worst case scenario: I deplete my savings, which I can handle.

textbooks:
$500 per semester (though this may fluctuate wildly because business/engineering texts are crazy expensive but are sometimes available used)

meds/phone:
$100 per month

Projected bills for the year:
$2,200

So, assuming I'll more-or-less work about 25-30 hours a week (which is reasonable) for six weeks (when the ECEC program is in session) and then roughly 10 hours a week for three additional weeks when ECEC isn't in session, it works out to about $1,500 for the summer, which won't quite cover things over the school year (though this doesn't count working during Thanksgiving or Christmas breaks).

Now, Mom's position is pretty much that I should be working more, but

1.) I don't want to; I'm sick of having no social life because I'm working two jobs in a schedule that isn't compatible with anyone else's (Target's running to weekend evenings and ECEC running to having to be functionally awake at 8:00 AM every weekday morning).

2.) I have stuff to organize, such as lab reports, figuring out where I'm going next year, orientation, packing, figuring out where I'm going to live after I've figured out where I'm going, all sorts of fun stuff.

Plus, Target's cutting hours, and there is no way in pants that I'm going to be able to find and organize a THIRD job, not even a little bit.

6.) HVCC is back on the table as an option.

THOUGHTS ON THINGS:

1.) I'm not sure I even WANT to go to Clarkson, even if they offer me a pretty aid package. It's so far away, and that's a little bit scary for school. (A far-away job that paid enough to cover living expenses would, for reference, be a lot less scary, because it would be year-round without the strain of moving my entire life twice a year, and then MOST of my entire life an additional two times.) Plus, I've mostly got the boy situation situated, and I'm not sure if I want to change that (though this is a mitigating factor, not one that would be part of a decision). I haven't visited and I don't know what they'll be like, so going there would be a pretty scary decision. But, without an aid package, who knows what will happen?

2.) Other than this last-minute stuff, RPI has been super good about keeping in touch with me and has been incredibly helpful throughout the process.

3.) RPI is still terrifyingly expensive, and with tentative aid figures, still runs about $13,000 to $15,000 more than we had hoped to pay, per year. You get what you pay for, I suppose?

4 & 5.) I'm really hoping for the Arsenal thing, because that would alleviate financial pressure a bunch.

6.) I would really like to be at a four-year school next year for a bunch of reasons:
- I might get out of school faster than another (full) three years. If I go to HVCC, it will be at LEAST another three years before I get out of school due to credit requirements.
- I want access to the professors and resources available at four-year schools. I have trouble finding community college professors with both the time and knowledge to answer many of my questions.
- Dealing with the transfer transcript tango the first time was stressful enough. I don't want to repeat it, and after HVCC, I would have to do it again, because my mom will want me to reapply to (at least) SUNYs, and I might have to reapply EVERYWHERE which would suck.

EDIT: Guys, I'm sorry about the crazy long entries. I edited in some cuts to save your friendspage.

People, Passion, and Possessions

2009-06-19T02:22:10Z

What are we going to do during the zombie apocalypse? We've forgotten how to trust each other and make things with our hands.

I don't know if I like the new word for "passion", which is (variously) nerd, geek, or dork, depending-- even if you take the pejorative connotations away from the words. I know I don't like the way it's no longer acceptable to be openly sad and angry or even happy anymore.

I have no problems with our unfathomably huge infrastructure, as such, but there needs to be something more scalable so that people can see to their own needs. You can't build anything anymore, not cost-effectively, and it breaks my heart.

New goal: to reclaim social interaction and craftsmanship.

Interview Retrospective

2009-06-17T00:02:19Z

It suddenly occurs to me that while I was reasonably competent in the interview, there were a number of things I could have done better, and I may have muffed the followup. Though this is the first interview I've had for a "real job" and I feel like I can be forgiven, I would prefer not to repeat these mistakes. Here's a rundown:

Preparation

On the surface, my prep was beautiful. I allowed enough time for getting lost and finding a parking space, getting changed, and coping with hair and makeup. I brought enough copies of my résumé to pass out to the panel of interviewers (which was a bit of a surprise, but not a shock) and a list of questions to ask. I had done enough research to answer basic questions about the position I had applied for, and I feel this last bit of prep allowed me to pleasantly surprise the panel of interviewers and appear confident, interested, resourceful, and knowledgeable about the topics at hand.

That said, there were some things I could easily have improved. While I allowed enough time, I was still running a little bit late. Instead of being half an hour (best-case) or fifteen minutes early, as I had anticipated, I got lost on the way in and arrived in the building at more-or-less precisely the time I had to be there, which is less than optimal. I only had three copies of my most recent résumé, and though the change from the old copy is only one word, I was still embarrassed to give some panel members the old copy. My list of questions was the rough working list that I'd written on the back of another list, so I was reading something I'd written on scrap paper. I forgot to bring a pen and paper, and while I used a clean as-new pocketfolder, a legal pad (as in the image below) would have served the same function as well as looked more professional (not like something a fifth-grader might carry).

The worst part was that without a pen, I could not take even improvised notes. As I neglected to ask for business cards from the other people on the panel, I do not have the names of everyone on my panel.

MY EXCUSE: One, the interview occurred within 24 hours of the phone call I received to schedule it, so I had a limited number of hours to execute my prep. Furthermore, I haven't been in job-hunt mode (having written off my applications as having been rejected out of hand), so I spent some of those hours prepping responses to common questions (that were never asked, D:). I haven't been to an interview like that before, so it was a learning experience.

Follow-up

I forgot to write the darn thank-you note for the interview.

MY EXCUSE: There isn't really an excuse for this. I put it on my to-do list after every single interview, and I haven't written one yet. As I haven't yet been contacted, I'm going to send one off tonight, but it may be too late, and if it is, it is entirely my own stupid fault, and I need to figure out a strategy for not forgetting this next time (or any other time).

So, I'm off to write that letter. Here's hoping I'm not too late, or that I'm well-qualified enough that it won't matter.

Not What I've Expected

2009-06-14T20:20:52Z

Last Thursday, I interviewed at the Watervliet Arsenal for an internship in contracting/procurement (after having assumed that they'd binned my résumé three weeks ago). I'm surprised, but I find that I really want to get it. It pays 50% more than the higher-paying of my two jobs, it's 40 hours a week, and it could very possibly lead to another internship next summer and, after graduation, possibly a career. I should hear soon. I'm hopeful.

I'm not taking Chemistry this semester. I'm too busy finishing lab reports, and, because I need to be completely honest with myself, avoiding finishing lab reports. I really wish I had a buddy for that, because I'm having a rough time of it. I'm making progress, but it's painful and slow. The worst bit is that once I get started, there are stretches of time where it's good and interesting, but when I get stuck, it's so hard to move on.

I may have won a book online. We'll see how that pans out, and I'll post details if it does.

I need to have my decision and deposit in to RPI by July 1. They haven't given me a financial aid package, and I'm still trying to put together course descriptions for the credit evaluation. I asked my mother to do it (and she hasn't, and I should know better), because I'm doing lab reports. I still haven't heard from any other college, though I've re-sent transcripts.

My lab reports also should be in by July 1. The time keeps slipping away from me, and I need to be holding it more tightly.

In all, I'm feeling much more confident about my own future, despite the fact that details aren't gelling yet. I feel calmer, more in control. It's going to be all right.

A Reason

2009-06-07T17:10:41Z

Today, I was avoiding lab reports while my brother practiced his cello (loudly and distractingly), so I was glancing through crazyprogrammer's livejournal on the basis that he went to RPI, where I have recently been accepted as a transfer student (pending, of course, getting these lab reports done. Don't malign my circular logic!). He writes in an entry from, apparently, his freshman year:

"By the way, I made a thingamajig in Engineering Processes today. They were teaching us welding and brazing and other such metal working techniques, and we had to make things such that we did three good welds and three good brazes. As such, I have a thingamajig that is welded, and a whatsit that is brazed. I also used a torch thingy to put my initials on a piece of metal which I am also in possession of at the moment. Although I burnt my thumb somewhere in this activity, which was not as fun."

This is the kind of thing that makes me really want to go to RPI, $40,000/year notwithstanding. They have a class, a class that should I go to RPI I will be required to take, where you can make things, learn how to make things, put your hands on making things, burn your thumb while making things.

Now, I realize that burning my thumb is probably not something I should be eagerly anticipating, but frankly I find very hot things (like torch thingies) less terrifying than very sharp things moving very fast (like bandsaws). In either case, I need to pay attention to the relevant safety procedures, take a deep breath, grow a pair, and then do what I need to do.

Actually, I probably need to grow a pair anyway. A prudent life where I carefully and exhaustively weigh all possible risks and rewards before taking action will not serve me well.

This was going to be an actual post about life...

2009-05-20T03:41:16Z

And then I realized that they have announced a bigger Kindle.

If it wasn't almost $500, I might even be trying to justify the purchase as "making textbooks more portable and easier to use".

If the price drops, I may still try to justify it.

In fact, I may still try to justify it, even at almost $500. Because that would be sweet, not having to lug around a backpack that kills my back.

Guh.

Work, Play, School, and the Summer

2009-05-14T21:11:49Z

1.) I beat Mass Effect. I want to play more. Instead, I've got real-world stuff to do. I also wanna replay Psychonauts, because it rocked, and play some TF2 now that I'm

2.) No idea how my summer's going to run. My best-case scenarios are one of the following:
(a) Get a business internship at the Watervliet Arsenal. It's not exactly my desired field (private-sector product development), but it's a hell of a lot closer to it than either Target or preschool, it pays significantly more, and it has opportunities for promotion and possibly a job after graduation.
(b) Work at preschool in the mornings and take General Chemistry II, which is a night class.

In either of those scenarios, I could quit Target and have weekends largely free to do things with people. Last summer, I had to turn down a depressingly large number of invites out because I was working pretty much every single weekend and my demographic doesn't make plans four weeks in advance to hang out on Friday night (nor should it, because if it did, the plans would fall through 85% of the time, and I would be disappointed).

However, I realize those might not pan out, so I have a backup plan:

(c) Work at Target so I can buy textbooks next semester, wherever I am. Possibly take Gen Chem II.

3.) I have even less idea how next semester is going run.

4.) Someone on my friendslist TAs classes at her university. She posted something about how she's letting a student do extra credit work to improve her grade. I think this (a) good stuff and (b) the kind of thing that's, realistically, necessary in today's world.

"I think it's great that you're giving [your student] a second chance (and this is from my perspective as... well, not the best student ever, by a long shot). You're allowing her the chance to prove two things:

1.) She has achieved the pedagogical learning goals set forth in the course.
2.) She's willing to expend effort in order to prove that she has achieved the goals.

Is there really anything else that the grade you give her needs to reflect?

Plus, if I recall, your classes are godawful early in the morning (7AM and 8AM, amirite?). Biologically, she's probably coming out of the stage where 3AM to noon is an optimal sleep schedule, and she's also probably trying to socially interact with peers on the same sleep schedule. Culturally, college students (self included) act like and are treated as basically slightly more mature children (hence the increasingly-defined "young adult" demographic). You can expect more maturity than a middle- or high-schooler, but the majority of college students aren't ready and don't want to be adults yet. None of this is or should be an excuse (which is why you're still holding her accountable), but it's not the kind of thing that I think should be unforgivable. College is a learning experience, and making mistakes is a pretty common way of learning how to do it the right way around the next time.

However, this is my point of view, and again, I'm not an optimal student, so this is biased. I've spent my last week doing an extra-credit assignment in order to pass my computer science class, and I'm about to spend the next week and a half catching up on lab reports in order to pass my Physics class."

I bang on a lot about how I don't like academia as it exists today, mostly because I think I'm right, and partly because if there's an argument I'd missed, I'd like to hear it.

This kind of situation highlights one of the things that bothers me most about academia, and higher education* in particular. It's more-or-less universally required of everyone, or at least everyone who wants to be a contributing citizen of this country. Increasingly, people don't go to college because they want to expand their education and learn things and add the human race through increasing knowledge. They go to college because it's either tacitly implied or explicitly stated that they're going to spend the rest of their lives working at McDonald's for minimum wage if they don't.

Now, I understand the theory behind classic liberal arts education-- something about educating a voting public. But when it's increasingly required to have paid large sums of money to take (for example) a writing class, a literature class, two science classes, two social science classes, and an art class, and then pass all of them, in order to get a job that pays a reasonable living wage (and here I mean "the kind that includes the little niceties of life, like health insurance")? There's something wrong.

Especially if you aren't looking at a career in academia (and most of them probably aren't), I feel like the bulk of a college degree serves as a hazing exercise: get through it, and employers will note that you got through it.

And that's why I think it's important that this person, along with many other professors and TAs teaching at the undergraduate level (and including two of my own professors this semester), offer their students chances for redemption if we screw things up during the course of the semester.

Because college students are basically kids, and we're in college to learn, whether we want to or not. We should be allowed the opportunity to fix our mistakes and prove that we've met the goals of the course, because fucking up is part of the learning process.

...Here I am looking at the professor who essentially failed me because I refused to support her opinion that capitalism was wrong in my papers (and so stopped writing the papers), and then refused to let me redeem myself. I liked her very much on a personal level, and I am very grateful to her for making me think deeply about social issues. However, it would have made my life a great deal easier if she had allowed me to pass her class.

_____
*By "higher education" I don't mean "continuing to learn after high school", I mean the kind of education that costs $48,000 for the cheap degree (assuming $12,000/year for attending a state school, which is kind of a low estimate IMO). The kind that gives you a pretty piece of paper afterwards.